As any Peace Corps volunteer will tell you, there´s a fine line between successfully blending in with the natives and losing your entire sense of self. We used to have an understanding among my fellow volunteers that you´ve been in Russia too long (i.e. “gone native”) when you regularly carry rolls of toilet paper in your purse and never leave home without a plastic bag “just in case the market has anything today….”
(On a totally unrelated side-note, I had a friend who swore she would stay a third year in the outer banks of nowhere if her local market started supplying Diet Coke. Sure enough, we enjoyed a lovely third year together after that.)
I´m now well on my way towards going native among the mommy crowd. With that in mind, I give you my own list of “You Know You´re a Mommy When…..” Mommies of the world – feel free to write in your own suggestions in the comments box below.
You know you´re a mommy when….
- … the first thing you do every morning is feel your boobs to make sure they´re full.
- … you can´t wait until baby´s bedtime but then miss the little chap two hours later.
- … you have a smug, superior look on your face whenever you pass a pregnant woman (you think you have it bad now little lady, but just you wait….).
- … you are adept at living life one-handed.
- … you refer to your husband as “pappa” and yourself as “mommy”.
- … your day consists of either preparing food, feeding food or cleaning said food out of a diaper.
- … you actually look forward to the aforementioned diaper because it means little junior´s tummy is working properly.
- … you (happily) check out the baby clothes department before your own.
- … you can sing lullabies in multiple languages (including baby-speak).
- … your selection of cafes/restaurants/shopping centers/etc. revolves around their level of stroller-friendliness.
- … you have a sliding scale for how much spit-up you can have on your clothes and still go out in public without changing.
- … you invent all kinds of sounds you never knew you could make in an effort to solicit one precious baby smile.
- … you finally get along with your own mother.
- … you have brochures of traveling circuses hidden around the house, just in case.